Monday, March 10, 2014
I am Fred Koechlin's grandson... and I must say that claiming that just now not only filled me with an immense sense of honor but also of a tremendous responsibility to live up to the title. How difficult it is to eulogize a man for whom every cliched veneration one would expect to hear at a funeral is not only true of him, but, as I am sure you all know, he literally embodied. I beg your indulgence to permit me to offer just a minute sampling of what I gained from knowing him. Over the course of my life I have known of no one, to whom I would more readily assign the title of "The Ideal Man" as I would Pop Pop. To quote my Uncle Bob on the occasion of Pop Pop's 90th Birthday... " He was the gold standard for what a man should be." To those who knew him and especially to myself, he was even more than that... he embodied "the greatest generation" ... he was honesty and "even temperment" incarnate; he was disarmingly freindly and unfathomably wise ... in the thirty four years I was fortunate enough to have spent with him I never once saw him lose his temper or caught him acting out of character. He was never short of patience or abrupt with anyone and... no matter what was going on rain or shine he was always the same man. The same Pop Pop. The same gentle soul who left an indelible impression on everyone he encountered. There were times growing up when I would stop by the Acme or the Perkins where he and Nanny spent so much time, and I was always shocked at how people were instantly transformed when they learned to whom I was related. I can remember one particular instance when I was roughly eighteen. I was picking up something for Nanny at the Acme and the checkout girl, whom was about my age and covered in piercings,had blue hair, chewing gum, and didn't look remotley approachable...saw the name on the club card Nanny had given me and instantly melted. "You're related to them?!" she asked me with a beatific smile on her face.. "yes, they are my grandparents" I replied ..."THEY ARE SO SWEET TOGETHER" she said, as I watched this, to me, jaded soul, melt at the mention of them. It seemed to me at the time that they made everyone they met feel like family. I can recall a family BBQ when I was about ten and Pop Pop was watching us play by a tree. I called him over to show him a huge butterfly that was just perched under the tree flapping its wings very slowly. Being a horrible little monster of a kid my first instinct was to try to step on it, but as soon as I made a motion toward it, Pop Pop immediatley scooped it up with his hand and quietly said ..."He's in enough trouble already". He then sat quitely, on one knee, looking at it until it died 5 minutes later. Watching this, at the time I cylced through the emotions of dissapointment, then on to curiosity, and finally landed squarely on shame. Looking back on it, I realize now that he was teaching me mercy without saying a word to admonish me. Besides being gentle and pleasant Pop Pop could also be firm and resolute when it wascalled for. I can remember one time in particular at the Chess Club he brought me and my brother to. He had trained us over several summer vacations and had applied for special permission, due to our age, to get us enrolled with him. Most of the members were between 25 and 75, and here we were only just geting out of elementary school. One night, Pop Pop was sitting at a table beside his friend Russ across from a man in a flannel coat who looked like a lumberjack to me, back then, because he had a beard and was very solidly built. Russ who was a little older than Pop Pop at the time had gotten into a heated argument with the man, who was probably in his thirties, over something and I watched, from accross the room, as the man stood up and pointed his finger at Russ's nose and yelled at him, his face beet red and angry. I watched as Russ turned pale and tried to calm the man down, to no avail. After a few exchanges Pop Pop quietly stood up, and I will never forget his stance in the face of that hulking menace as long as I live, placed his hands on the table and (with his nose inches from the other's) calmly told the man that "if he didn't sit down he was going to put him back into the chair himself." You could have heard a pin drop. The man was unhorsed. I watched as he went from glaring right at Pop Pop to turning slowly away, unable to meet his stern gaze, casting his eyes toward the floor like a scolded child. He sat back down and it was over. Pop Pop hadn't done it in a macho, "oh what a man I am" way... he had just spoken plainly. He was making him a promise, and if you knew Fred for any amount of time, you knew that he always kept his promises. We all have fathers and other men we admire but seldom in life do we encounter one such as he that not only gives us the rules to live by but exemplifies them. At the risk of sounding redundant, I would say that whenever I think of the words "common sense" I cannot help but think of my grandfather. He taught me to fish, he taught me to play chess, he taught me countless things about life and dealing with people, mostly without speaking, through sheer example. As I said before, I am Fredrick Koechlin's grandson, and maybe it's the scientist in me that makes me realize that I share roughly 1/4th of what makes me, me directly with him. Well, when all is said and done if I end up achieving 1/100th of what he accomplished on this earth I will count myself as having lived a full life. What a shame it is that character and wisdom are not passed down in the blood. For if it was, we would all instantly benefit from our elders, and none more than the abundant progeny of Fredrck Koechlin. Speaking for myself, whenever I presume to claim heredity with him or contemplate doing something imprudent I find myself duty bound to try to fit the billing. To do any less than to attempt to live up to his standards would be to debase the gifts he bestowed upon me. It is, in fact, a responsibility incumbent on all of us who knew him and had the distinct honor of calling ourselves his family and friends. Today, it is that overwhelming responsibility to adhere to his example that accompanies the sorrow I feel at the loss of the institution that was my grandfather. With his passing marks the end of an era, "I shall not look upon his like again." -Peter J. Cusumano Jr.
