Obituary of Raymond A. Kalainikas

RAY KALAINIKAS Ray’s mission in life focused on doing God’s “will,” and helping to establish this movement in human society. Ray was a Maryknoll college seminarian in the early 1960s. Ray served in the Marine Reserves. Due to his strong pacifist beliefs, if called to duty, he would assist in medical support. He graduated with a B.A. degree from Seton Hall University and began teaching in public school. But, beyond Maryknoll and Seton Hall - as he sought out knowledge and studies relating to theology and religion - he further progressed in his thinking and moral positions on an array of matters. He held to the “seamless garment” understanding of non-violence on such issues as abortion, the death penalty, war, etc. and advocated for this approach. He was a man of action. As an “activist,” he championed many causes including being an anti-war activist during the Viet Nam era. In the late 1990s, Ray was instrumental in the introduction of a New Jersey General Assembly resolution (AR 175) memorializing Congress to defund the U.S. Army School of the Americas (SOA) in collaboration with his Maryknoll priest friend and his wife Deborah concerning the latter issue (involving human rights violations/atrocities). The Assembly passed the resolution. Throughout his life, he frequented municipal government meetings to promote less taxation, less spending, prevent overdevelopment and advocating on other issues that would enhance the community’s quality of life and citizens-at-large. But, his main passion centered on promoting the “Golden Rule;” “Treat every human being as you would want to be treated.” He was instrumental in having municipal non-binding referenda being placed on various towns’ election ballots concerning diverse local issues and through his efforts yielded many positive outcomes with strong voter participation; one such example included the closure of a company which had negatively impacted water quality/safety in Ocean County. He was an avid reader, intellectual and a visionary. A prolific writer, he authored many letters-to-the-editor and op-ed pieces that were published on local, state, national, and international issues. In many ways, he publicly articulated and shared his positions at public meetings, among neighbors, friends and business acquaintances. Having run his own small business for many years, he always shared his ideas and writings with business customers. He challenged individuals’ curiosity and engaged in robust dialogue. Ray shared his life with his wife Deborah Smarth for thirty-plus years, celebrating almost 21 years of marriage. “Ray's sparkling blue eyes and beautiful smile were striking! Ray is my soulmate, best friend, and key partner in life. We had so many years of happiness and excitement, working together on important matters in politics, religion, etc. and just having fun in the routine activities of life. His presence alone made me secure and strong. He made my life full and we never had a dull moment; animated conversations and discussions ensued every day. He taught me so many important life lessons and gave me motivation. He was the peaceful and calming force in my life. He always stated that we as human beings are judged by our efforts to do good for others. He was the most caring human being who loved life and believed we are all here for a purpose to better society.”. . . . “No words can describe this loss. But, Ray's contributions to society will not go unnoticed and his spirit will live on forever." Ray has two daughters, Sarah and Laura, five grandchildren, a sister (Elaine), and many cousins. Flowers care of the funeral home and/or contributions to Maryknoll Fathers and Brothers in Ray's name can be made. P.O. Box 302, Maryknoll, New York. 10545-0302