Obituary of Constance Ella Bergen Brown

Constance Ella Bergen Brown was known as Connie, Mom, Grandma, Aunt Connie, Aunt Grandma, and 2nd Mom to the many who knew and loved her. She was born in Freehold, New Jersey on November 14, 1932 to loving and devoted parents, the late Chauncey Sanderson Bergen and Emma Davis Bergen. She was their only child for 12 years, as she liked to recount, until her brother, the late William C. Bergen was born in 1944. She lived most of her life on Institute Street at several addresses: 28 Institute Street where she grew up; 42 Institute Street, her first marital home; and 54 Institute Street where she raised her family. Her life was filled with family close by, sharing the street with her great grandmother the late Etta Ward, her grandmother the late Ella Davis, her uncle and aunt the late Richard and Eva Davis, and her first cousins the late Richard Davis, Jr. and the late Catherine Davis Caldwell. As the years passed, the close knit community would include her sister- and brother- in-law the late Ann and William Mott, and many nieces, nephews and cousins as all of their families grew. Connie attended the segregated Court Street School through the 8th grade and went on to graduate from Freehold High School in 1950. After graduation she worked at Fort Monmouth Army Base as a secretary and met one of her best friends, Ellen Brown. Connie was blessed with exceptional beauty, wicked smarts, unshakeable confidence and the gift to sing. She grew up singing in the church choir in which her mother was the choir director and organist. She loved to tell stories of performing at amateur singing competitions and winning many of them. One of her favorite songs to sing was Ruth Brown’s “Mama, He Treats Your Daughter Mean.” The night she remembered most was when jazz and R&B crooner Arthur Prysock asked her to dance after one of his performances. She remembered him asking her out on a date after they danced and very politely and proudly telling him no. Connie put all that aside to settle down and devote her life to building a family with her childhood friend Joseph Ruffin Brown, marrying 2 years after his return from the Korean War. The ceremony was held at the Second Baptist Church in Freehold on May 28, 1955 followed by a reception at the home of Claude and the late Geraldine Williams. Together, Connie and Joe Brown had three sons, Marc Joseph (deceased), Keith Michael and Richard Scott. Connie stopped working to become a stay-at-home mom and was a driving force in her sons’ education. She served on the PTA at their schools and was involved in every activity in which they were engaged, from singing auditions to Cub Scouts to school plays. As her children got older, she went back to work in the educational system as a teacher’s aide at the Freehold Learning Center so she could be home when her children were off from school. She fostered a love of learning in her sons and encouraged them to be well-rounded, creative and most importantly to believe in their dreams. One of the accomplishments she was most proud of was sending each of her sons to college and watching each one graduate. She was the subject of a book, Sacred Bond: Black Men and Their Mothers written by her son Keith and appeared with him on its cover. She also appeared in newspapers and on television across the country most notably the ABC Newsmagazine 20/20. When Connie left the school system, she worked as a court attendant at the Monmouth County Courthouse in the juvenile court division where she made many life-long friends. She retired after 24 years of service. It’s around that time when Connie and Joe decided to sell their home and move to The Villages, a senior living community in Howell, NJ. This was after 71 years of Connie living on Institute Street. When Connie and Joe married, a bet was being waged around town that their marriage wouldn’t last 6 months... On May 28, 2005 in New York City they renewed their vows in celebration of 50 years of marriage. A couple of years later they celebrated the birth of their long awaited, highly anticipated first and only granddaughter, her “mini-me” Azuri Jolie Brown, a name that Connie liked to claim she gave her, a source of much family debate. Azuri recently said, “Grandma was the only one who understood me.” Two years after their granddaughter’s birth, Connie’s husband of 53 years and life-long protector died on February 21, 2009. It would be the first time in her life living alone. Connie enjoyed breakfast and lunch outings with her friends, taking drives and shopping with her friend Bert Schanck, trips to Atlantic City and spending time in New York City visiting her family. One of her fondest memories was visiting Paris, her lifelong dream. She loved spending time with her son Ricky who would visit her every weekend and make sure she was cared for and entertained. They sang every Whitney Houston song ever recorded together, songs that would later provide her comfort. As her health declined, Connie was cared for by her niece and goddaughter Cynthia Mott who lived with her for several years. Robin Major would always keep a close eye on her second mom and made sure her hair was done, taking her to the salon which was one of Connie’s favorite pastimes. Her special nieces Sheryl and Sharon Mott were always close by when she needed them. She also received care from home health aides Alicia and Shantika, and friends Juanita Conover and Jackie Stovall at different times. After a series of health issues she decided to move to New York City to be with her family where she spent her last weeks in hospice care at her son’s home in Harlem. After days of struggling, she peacefully transitioned of natural causes on December 19, 2020 at 6:15 pm, about a month after celebrating her 88th birthday. At the time of her death she was surrounded by her sons, her daughter-in-law and her sister Gladys, her granddaughter, and Nya who helped care for her Aunt Grandma in her final days. Connie received exceptional care from The Visiting Nurses of New York Hospice Care and we thank her nurse Boon Shia and home health aide Susan Shia for their care, comfort and support. Connie’s in-laws, the Thomas, Perez and Grajales families prayed over her in her time of need. There is a line in one of Connie’s favorite songs, The Way We Were that she loved to recite, ”What’s too painful to remember, we simply chose to forget.” In her final year's she lost much of her memory to dementia. She forgot the pain of loss. She forgot the many health challenges faced over the years. But she never forgot the people she loved. While there are far too many family members and friends to name individually, she is survived by a large family: her youngest son Richard Brown, middle son Keith Brown, daughter-in-law Maria Perez-Brown, her granddaughter Azuri Jolie Brown and surrogate son Stephen Williams, his wife and children; her brother’s children William (Billy) Bergen Jr. and his wife Karen, Carlos (Mikey) Bergen and his wife Monica, and her namesake Constance Bergen and her longtime partner Darrell Ellis, and all of their children, including Mikey’s eldest Christina Michelle Bergen, and several grandchildren; She was the matriarch of the Davis family and is survived by Robin and William Major and their daughters Nya and Halle Major, her close cousin/nephew Richie Caldwell and his children including his eldest Marc Joseph Caldwell and his wife Amanda, Richard Davis III and his wife Yudelka and their children; She was also the oldest living relative of the Brown family, survived by her sister-in-law Yvonne Brown and a host of nieces, nephews, great nieces and nephews including Rasheen Mott and his son Xavier who would visit frequently, and many cousins including Ruffin family elders and dear friends Donald Ruffin, Bernice Brooks and Claudette Williams and the Keyes Family on the Brown side. She also leaves behind a longstanding and cherished community of friends and neighbors in Freehold and is survived by her life-long friends Patricia Nixon, Bert Schank and Norma Randolf, and her friend Michelle Paige and their families. May Constance Ella Bergen Brown rest in eternal peace with the loved ones who predeceased her. Mom, we know you are engulfed in their love but we will miss you profoundly. Continue to look over us from above. We still need you.